Have you ever found yourself among a group of Americans speaking English but still had no idea what they were actually saying? You know English well, maybe English is even your first language. And yet what is being said sounds like complete nonsense or is spoken in a weird voice with strange mannerisms. Well my friend, these are Americans, and Americans speak in movie quotes.
It is within this strange phenomenon one learns the key to fast friendship with Americans: knowing their quotes and being to reply with another in perfect context. Do this and learn to spontaneously throw out quotes yourself, and you’ll instantly make friends.
I spent the majority of the 90s outside the US. My parents, in an effort to keep us connected to American culture, made sure we had movies and tape recordings of popular television shows. As a result, the most quoted lines between my siblings and I come from the classics: Willow, the Indiana Jones trilogy, The Princess Bride, and Disney movies. Here are a few examples of how to quote these properly:
Willow
- When someone says “What are you looking at?” Reply with “Your leg. I’d like to break it.”
- When you’re hungry but can’t be bothered to make your own food, say to the people closest to you in the room “Mumbo. Jumbo. I am hungry. Go get me some eggs or something.”
Indiana Jones
- When somebody does something dumb to you, say “You can’t do this to me, I’m an American!”
- If someone asks you what you want to eat, say “Do you have anything simple, like soup?”
- If someone is choosing between two things, say “Choose wisely.” And if they make a bad choice, “He chose…poorly.”
The Princess Bride
- Before someone goes to bed, say “Good night. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”
- Randomly throw out the phrases “Anybody want a peanut?” or “Inconceivable!” anytime you want.
Disney
- If you’re around Americans who love Disney, it’s perfectly acceptable to burst into song anytime anywhere, if it’s a song from the classics (think Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Lion King).
Get the picture? Find out what the Americans you wish to befriend watch, then watch those things too or go on imdb.com and find quotes there (that’s kind of cheating and you might not throw out a quote with appropriate timing or in correct context this way, but it’s a good start). Things like Dr. Who, Star Wars, and Monty Python seem to earn extra gold stars from Americans when quoted.
Ready to befriend some Americans now? Then get out there and get quoting! Let me know how it goes!
The Unpoisoned Apple 